In search of the perfect pub

Sally Toms says you can’t be too picky when it comes to your local

I have recently bought my first house and never have I been so grateful for the humble British pub.

In between bouts of cement mixing, plastering and paint stripping, my local has been a watery oasis, god save her.

I’m sure the landlord isn’t quite as pleased as he sweeps up the red trail of brickdust I leave in my wake, but I’m happy.

It’s not a perfect pub by any means: it doesn’t have a hundred real ales and definitely has leanings in the gastro direction (gasp!) but it’s mine.

There are plenty of great pubs out there, but to be truly perfect I think it has to be right on your doorstep. If your dream pub is also your local, then you’re one of the lucky few. Never ever move.

For any beer lover the quality of the nearest watering hole is a major consideration when buying a house.

More than that, it’s a great place to find out local gossip if you’re thinking about buying. It’s the first place to head after a house viewing. You can peer at your future neighbours from behind your pint and ask the barstaff pertinent questions like: “So, any nuclear reactors/housing estates/detention centres being built round here?” City folk are often spoilt for choice, but when you live in the sticks as I do, access to a decent country pub is critical.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the best pubs, like the best schools, start pushing up the surrounding houseprices.

Everything else seems to.

I’ve been lucky. The place we finally went for has at two pubs within walking distance of my front door. Joy!

The one I frequent most is definite gastropub material: expensive food; a wine list like the index of an atlas; leather seats and polished wooden floors. It’s the kind of place that attracts well-to-do ladies in paisley neckscarves for lunch. It even has a squash court, bizarrely.

But you know what? I don’t mind.

Some people are down on gastropubs but I’d much rather have one as my local than nothing at all. At least this one is making an effort, two of the 10 or so beers on offer are from the bigger regional brewers. There’s nothing at all to satisfy my taste for international brews, but you can’t have everything.

The Campaign for Real Ale has revealed that as many as 50 pubs are closing in the United Kingdom every month. Most of these are in urban areas where competition is greater, but if they’re closing then they can’t be that good in the first place.

Many are forced to go gastro just to get bums on seats. Fine, let them. As long as they stay open for the rest of us when we’re slaked in plaster and in need of refreshment.

The impending smoking ban will probably accelerate the creep of the gastropub across the land. I’m looking forward to it. As a non-smoker I hate coming back from the pub stinking like a haddock.

But, I hope, it doesn’t necessarily mean they won’t sell good beer.

By Sally Toms

Section : From the Editor

Page number : 5